Resolutions Revisited: What Still Matters

Letters to a Friend #30- Looking back on my New Year's resolution and how they're going

Dear Friend,

I’ve found that people often ask about your New Year’s resolutions, but they rarely ever check in on how they’re going. So, to do exactly that, I decided to ask my friends at work: “How are your New Year’s resolutions going?”

At first, the question got a few laughs, probably because it felt random and because New Year's was so long ago. But the timing wasn’t random at all; we had just passed the halfway mark of the year. Some people shared that their goals were still in progress. Others admitted they had realized the goals they set back in January didn’t really suit them anymore.

That got me thinking about my own 2025 resolutions and whether I’d made any real progress. Truthfully, I couldn’t even remember what I had set for myself. Luckily, I had written them down in a previous newsletter. So, this is me checking in with myself. Previous newsletter here

Below is a reflection on the aspirations I set earlier this year, and how I’m continuing, revising, or letting go of them. Most of these goals were pretty abstract, and I’m going to try to be as honest as possible- not trying to mold my current reality to fit them, but to hold myself to the original intention behind them.

Achievements Matter Less Than You Think

This is still something I’m working through.

Just last night, I was struck by the realization that I hadn’t felt a real sense of accomplishment in a while. When I mentioned this to colleagues, their first question was career-oriented.

That response didn’t surprise me, but it was very different from the mindset I had. There’s a standard expectation that work will give us validation, whether it’s through praise from a manager or closing a big deal in sales. But in my case, work is currently just a way to pay bills and fund the life I want to live. It doesn’t meet the sensation of “achievement.”

The closest I’ve felt to that sensation recently was a stranger messaging me to say they resonated with something I wrote.

This is all to say I need to keep reframing my need for external validation. Instead of external achievements, I want to put higher emphasis on keeping true to the expectations I set for myself, "being the person I say I’m trying to become."

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Experiencing Life

I still find myself getting stuck in the past sometimes, but I’ve found better ways to manage it. The most effective one has been letting the thoughts pass through me rather than gripping onto them much like sand slipping through my fingers.

As for chasing experiences, I feel like I’ve been intentional. I’m leaning into the moments I’ll want to tell my kids about someday.

Some of these have been big, like traveling through Europe, spending time at a friend’s lake house, or planning to attend a creator conference this September. Others have been smaller, more routine joys, such as getting into calisthenics or learning Urdu with the help of Anki flashcards.

I’m just trying to create the best memories possible. That might sound obvious, but I’m really trying to live it out.

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Take Action

In the same spirit of experiencing life, I’ve been trying to do more and overthink less.

I think insecurity and hesitation are often the biggest obstacles to action. There’s a quote that comes to mind: “Don’t let your own insecurities psych you out of a good thing.” It’s often used in the context of relationships, but I think it applies broadly.

I've been proud of myself for making my ideas a reality, like the micro-dream of creating a pop-up café. It started as a random idea that became reality. I didn’t know if it would work or if people would enjoy it, but I did it anyway. And honestly, it was one of my favorite events I’ve ever hosted.

So I think, in this area, I’m doing a lot better. I’m learning to move.

I hope your New Year’s resolutions haven’t been forgotten, and even if they’ve changed since January, I hope you’re still moving toward them in your own way.

That’s all for now; I hope your week was fantastic and that this helped you dive a little deeper beneath the surface!

Best,

Yusuf Malik