The Unexpected Way to Find Purpose in Your Everyday Life

Letters to a Friend #21 - a mosaic of smaller questions leading to big answers

Dear Friend,

So you're searching for your purpose.
You’ve probably read through religious texts, uncovered the great philosophers, and maybe even asked the almighty ChatGPT for the answer. Yet, there doesn't seem to be anything that really satisfies you. So here you are, reading a Substack written by a 24-year-old, hoping to catch a glimpse of an answer. Unfortunately, the answer you're looking for isn’t something that can be explained through ancient manuscripts or historical wisdom, and definitely not in this Substack.

WAIT before you stop reading this letter, I do believe there’s a way we can get closer to answering the question of one’s purpose.

Finding your purpose is often seen as a macro question, an overarching north star that all your actions should align with. In religion, that might mean doing good for the sake of God. That idea shows up in donations, worship, and service. And I think that can be a satisfying answer. Most monotheistic traditions frame life in relation to the afterlife. It offers comfort and clarity that doing good in this life leads to a greater hereafter and might be limiting to the everyday perspective. But if religion alone provided full fulfillment, we’d all be committed, completely and consistently, to whatever faith we believed came closest to the truth.

I think religion is a powerful place to derive purpose. But it doesn’t always bring meaning to every part of life. You can trust in God and still feel unsatisfied in your day job. And if you’re less religious, you might turn to the great thinkers of the past.

Aristotle said, “Life’s purpose is eudaimonia,” which translates most closely to flourishing. He believed that life is about flourishing as a person, and while he had specific beliefs about what that means, the broader idea of flourishing is open-ended. That openness is freeing, but also overwhelming. We’re back to another question: What does it mean to flourish? And now we can stuck doing something well but not feeling fulfilled.

Whether it’s a religious or secular view, we can feel stuck if our everyday life doesn’t seem to align with these macro ideas of purpose. So maybe we’re asking the wrong version of the question.

Instead of weighing ourselves down with this heavy, lifelong inquiry, maybe we should break it into something smaller. We might not be able to answer what our one grand purpose is, but we can ask: What’s the purpose of this one action? I don’t mean just setting goals. Goals are measurable, but purpose is more subtle. It’s the deeper why behind what we do.

For instance, when you're making a cup of coffee, the goal might be to get caffeine, but the purpose might be to start your morning with something you enjoy. Even in small actions, identifying a 'deeper why' can bring a sense of purpose.

In my own life, I think about this Substack. The goal of this Substack is to reach a million people and eventually go full-time with this passion project. But the purpose of the Substack is just to share my ongoing thoughts to help the reader and me think through the questions we’re all having. To bridge the isolation of individual thought with the comfort of shared experience. To offer a small, thoughtful comfort as you navigate life, as if you were hearing from a close friend. (Hence: Dear Friend.)

So maybe purpose doesn’t have to be one giant answer. Maybe it’s a mosaic of smaller ones, when placed together, form something meaningful. You don’t need one perfect answer. You just need to find meaning in the small things. And if you do that consistently, it might be enough.

That’s all for now; I hope your week was fantastic and that this helped you dive a little deeper beneath the surface!

Best,

Yusuf Malik